Funny Christmas Wishes

I wish you a holiday season filled with more surprises than reindeer “gifts” on your lawn! May Santa bring you an abundance of presents and keep your credit card bills in check. Some say the best part of Christmas is when it’s over, but let’s hope it brings you nothing but joy. Christmas is a time for merriment, whether that’s singing hymns or enjoying a good drink. Cheers to a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Instead of toys and gifts, let’s hope Santa fills our socks with money. I’m sure you’re on the same page. Have a jolly Christmas!

Christmas is all about being with loved ones, so let’s spend the entire day together tomorrow. Merry Christmas!

May Santa have a Christmas as indulgent and satisfying as yours. Merry Christmas!

It’s quite peculiar to wish for a plump, bearded man to visit you at night, but hey, it’s tradition! Merry Christmas!

Best of luck to a non-existent being who wishes for impossible things. Have a jolly Christmas!

If you dare throw a snowball at me, be prepared for an epic snowball fight. Let’s make this the most unforgettable Christmas yet! Merry Christmas!

Consider this: since it’s not your or my birthday, but Jesus’, perhaps we can skip the gift-giving tradition this year and save some money. Merry Christmas!

Hey, Santa Claus, I’ll give you the antidote for those cookies you just devoured if you promise to be nice and fulfill my entire wish list. Thank you very much.

Is Santa too busy to tidy up after himself? Maybe he should consider shaving his beard. Merry Christmas!

We all understand that the most important part of Christmas is spending time with rarely seen family members. You’ll have an excuse to avoid them for the rest of the year!

I hope you enjoy the gift you asked me to buy. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is all about being with good company, so let’s plan to spend the entire day together tomorrow. Merry Christmas, my dear!

Merry Christmas! Yule is hands down my favorite holiday.

Santa Claus is real, but his beards are actually made of synthetic fur. He only makes an appearance once a year because the rest of the time, he’s your father.

Christmas is a time for reflection and determining who has gained the most holiday weight. Season’s greetings!

Instead of elves, Santa should hire giants to speed up gift production. Wishing you a fantastic holiday season! Also, I only go nuts during Christmas, which coincidentally is the same time I feel a bit crazy. Keep your sanity intact this holiday season! Merry Christmas!

May your eggnog be spiked with enough rum to keep you merry until Christmas! As a child, I used to savor the taste of fresh white snow. I started with yellow snow, but it just didn’t compare. Merry Christmas!

This year, may Santa gift you with winning lottery tickets in your stocking! Wishing you a delightful holiday season!

Santa performs some incredible feats, but I wish he could magically remove “late fees” from our bills. Merry Christmas!

I could say all I want for Christmas is you, but some extra cash wouldn’t hurt either.

Don’t forget about Christmas this year; it’s bound to happen around this time, like clockwork.

Today, the best gift you can give me is to try to be nice. It’s not that hard, trust me.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… Wait, what exactly is it? Did you keep the receipt?

May Christmas bring us happiness, love, and everything on my wish list.

Dear God, this year I planned on being environmentally friendly for Christmas. If you understand, please send me a large sum of money. Thank you kindly!

Your Christmas greeting beats all the others, but it would be even better if it were you, not my inbox, filling my stockings.