15 Rules of Friends With Benefits (FWB)

The general idea of the friends-with-benefits arrangement or situation is that you are at least friendly or friends with the other person, and you both share sexual chemistry. Still, you are not ready to pursue a romantic, serious relationship. Most successful friends-with-benefits arrangements are purely sexual, and they avoid all the physical and romantic intimacies that come with a relationship. Most people see this as the best way to satisfy their sexual urges without the commitment or emotional baggage that comes with a romantic relationship. Polygamous people who want to pursue multiple relationships at the same time also use the FWB arrangement.

Although some people thrive in the friends-with-benefits arrangement, others find it difficult to separate sexual intimacy from emotional and romantic intimacy. This makes people question if it is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone without catching feelings. Not everyone can have a casual relationship. This is why, if you are interested in having a friends-with-benefits arrangement, here are a few rules you need to know to keep the relationship strictly casual.

Rules of Friends with Benefits

1. Be emotionally mature.

Not everyone can handle a casual relationship, and having a sexual relationship with someone without the intimacy of a relationship takes lots of emotional maturity. Before starting a friends-with-benefits arrangement, make sure you can deal with the outcome of the relationship. Ask yourself if you can handle a strictly sexual relationship before adding sex to that friendship. You need to know if you are capable of handling an FWB arrangement; this is to protect yourself and your friendship.

2. Do not choose someone you have feelings for.

Having sex with someone with hope or belief is the surest way to break your heart. Instead of choosing someone you are romantically attracted to as your partner in the FWB arrangement, choose someone who you are interested in so that you can keep things casual easily.  A friends-with-benefits arrangement will end if you start dating someone seriously or you are tired of the arrangement. For this reason, you shouldn’t venture into the FWB arrangement to become more acquainted with the person. If you are already attracted romantically to your FWB partner, sleeping with them will only increase your feelings for them and worsen the situation.

3. Carefully select your partner.

Your ideal friends-with-benefits partner is someone you are physically attracted to but not sexually attracted to. Also, apart from sexual chemistry, it’s important to choose someone who is emotionally mature and honest. For this arrangement to work, it takes lots of trust and commitment between the both of you. This is why you need to be very careful when choosing a partner. Whoever you choose as your partner can affect the dynamics of your relationship with your other friends at the end of your arrangement if you both have mutual friends or are from the same friendship group.

4. Avoid acting like a couple.

If you have a friends-with-benefits arrangement with someone, you don’t act like you both are a couple. This is an unwritten golden rule for a successful friends-with-benefits arrangement: no dates, no holding of hands, no PDA, no lovey-dovey. In order not to blur the lines or start forming an attachment with your FWB partner, you must keep things strictly for bedroom business. Avoid spending too much time with them, and it’s not challenging to develop romantic feelings for someone you spend a lot of time with, especially if the both of you have been intimate. If you want to spend time outside the bedroom with your FWB partner, make sure it’s in a group setting to keep the PDA at the barest minimum.

5. Don’t do sleepovers.

This rule is along the same lines of keeping the intimacy between the two of you to a minimum. Avoid spending the night or sleepovers with your friends with your benefits partner. If you want your FWB arrangement to work perfectly, avoid cuddling or spooning after sex, as this is a couple’s activity and can get intimate. Since you are not being intimate with them, you should reserve this for when you have a serious partner. This doesn’t mean you should chase them out immediately after the sex, but avoid sleepovers so you don’t complicate your arrangement.

6. Practice safe sex and be transparent.

Most friends-with-benefits arrangements are not exclusive. This means that either of you might be seeing other people. For this reason, you should practice safe sex with both them and other people you might be seeing. It’s also very important that you are honest with each other about your sexual lives and practice safe sex. In addition to other forms of protection like condoms, it’s advised that you both get checked for STIs regularly and share your results if you like.

7. Discuss your expectations.

From the onset of your friends-with-benefits arrangement, you and your partner should discuss your expectations for the arrangement. You could work out a schedule that works best for both of you. Ask questions like, Do you want to be spontaneous in the arrangement? How long should the arrangement last? Is sexting allowed or crossing a line allowed? Answering these questions will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.

8. Except very little.

After setting your expectations from the onset of the arrangement, you must set them to the barest minimum. Don’t expect any of those things that come with romantic relationships, like date nights, gifts, birthday presents, etc. This will help you not overinvest in the arrangement and avoid catching feelings. Be realistic about the arrangement; remember, you aren’t looking for anything serious.

9. Have boundaries.

This is a very important rule in the friends-with-benefits arrangement and boundaries. To get satisfaction from this arrangement, you both need to set boundaries and respect them. This is more important if you and your partner are from the same friendship group or social circle. Talk about who gets to know about the arrangement if you want people to know about the arrangement. This rule is even more important than setting expectations. You both should revisit this boundary discussion regularly as your arrangement progresses.

10. Put your friendship before the sexual relationship.

At the end of your friends-with-benefits arrangement, you should remain friends with your FWB partner unless you both agree otherwise. A friends-with-benefits arrangement differs from random hookups; therefore, you must keep a good relationship outside the bedroom with your partner.

This arrangement is not permanent; therefore, you need to keep things light and playful, as this will help you prioritize your friendship. Respecting each other’s boundaries and expectations will help maintain the friendship part of the arrangement.

11. Communicate with your partner.

Like every other kind of relationship, communication is critical in friends-with-benefits arrangements. You communicate with your partner when you set boundaries and expectations. This communication requires a lot of emotional maturity, which isn’t the same as communicating with a lover.

Most of these conversations are challenging, so you must develop an avenue to check in regularly and ensure you are still on the same page. Talk about your sexual needs, and ask openly what you want in the bedroom. After all, what is a friend-with-benefits arrangement if you are not getting full benefits?

12. Avoid being jealous.

Your friends-with-benefits partner might be seeing other people, and you might even be seeing others. Therefore, you mustn’t let jealousy creep in. To begin with, do not be possessive of someone who isn’t yours. You are not exclusive with this person. You need to know if you are the jealous type before starting a friends-with-benefits arrangement so that you can set boundaries with this in mind. Boundaries can help minimize your jealousy in friends-with-benefits arrangements.

13. Date other people.

You must remember that you and your partner won’t end up together; there is a high possibility of zero happy endings; therefore, you need to see other people. This is an advantage of the friends-with-benefits arrangement: you get to keep things casual. While you are testing the waters of dating, you are satisfying your sexual needs with your FWB partner. Dating other people helps you avoid catching feelings for a friend, which has benefits because they serve as other sources of emotional connections.

14. Understand that you are not exclusive.

Just as you might be seeing other people by the side, most of your friend’s benefits partners might also be seeing other people or possibly have a serious relationship. For this reason, you need to remember not to get jealous of a friend who benefits your partner’s relationship with other people or expect them to put you first.

15. Remember why you started.

Ultimately, you must remember that a friends-with-benefits arrangement is purely a sexual arrangement. Ensure you are both doing just that and having fun in the process. Focus on exploring your sexuality without emotional baggage.

Apart from these significant rules, other rules for friends with benefit arrangements include:

• Have a plan of action for this arrangement
• Be open to new relationships, as you are not dating your FWB partner
• Don’t get clingy
• Don’t introduce them to anyone of importance
• Everything remains in the bedroom

What do Friends with benefits do?

Friends with benefits are friends who hang out and, most times, have sex with each other without any strings attached.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while trying to set all the needed boundaries and expectations, don’t forget the main reason you stated this arrangement: to have fun. So, have fun and explore your sexual preferences without judgments or emotional baggage.

ALSO, READ What is a True Friend?

Originally posted 2023-01-07 07:35:59.