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Secrets are meant to be confidential and private, not to be seen in the public eye. But what happens when these things get in between you and your special person? Some relationships suffer these days because one person keeps things from the other, thereby reducing the other’s trust.

There are plenty of reasons your partner may be secretive, but in most relationships, there are two prominent reasons.

1:Fear Of losing you:

This is the most prominent reason your partner might be secretive. People tend to keep secrets from their partners if they think telling the other might lead to total separation.

He/she loves you and might not want to burden or hurt you, so he/she keeps to himself/herself. This also has its disadvantages and might also lead to the separation one feared. Telling you that secret might stir up something in the relationship, and one may not want that. One thing keeping it to himself is safer and better for you both

2:Fear Of being the weaker vessel:

Now, this is mainly on the male’s part. Women are always seen as the weaker ones, so showing up as weak might hurt his pride. Every man has an ego, holds on to it, and works so hard that it is not trampled on. A man likes to keep all the burdens to himself and not put all the weight on the woman. If he loves you, this is what he’d do. At the same time, it is not healthy for him, but he has no choice but to keep it to himself.

Sometimes, this happens from the female side, but it’s not from the fear of being the weaker vessel but to lessen the burden of her partner. This is also not healthy for her, but she thinks it’s best that she keeps it to herself.

You are probably reading this right now, either as the secretive one or as the one left in the dark. What do you do if you find out you have a secretive partner?


1: Be Patient:

Patience is critical when dealing with a secretive partner. This person is in love with you, and so are you, but when it comes to getting information out of your secretive partner, you have to take it one step at a time. Don’t jump into conclusions just yet, don’t start a fight at your slightest suspicion, just take every step one at a time. That way, you’d be able to reach out with little to no effort at all.

2: Be Reassuring:

In a relationship, with or without a secretive partner , reassurance is essential. Tell that person how much you love him, how much you want to be with him, and how much you are willing to do for that person. It rekindles the love and most times a sense of relief to that person that even though he later spills the secret, intentionally or unintentionally, you’d still be right there with him or her. Using words like “I know it might be hard but we would get through it together “  “You are not in this alone, you have your favorite sidekick “ “I love you and I’m not going anywhere “ “Let’s work it out, together “ These words are not just mere words but love darts that could perfectly pierce your partner’s heart. With these kinds of words, he’d be no more secretive.


3: Be Supportive:

Support your partner in their decisions, trust them, and even though you might not understand why they are asking for such things, trust them to work it out. At the same time, if it seems too ridiculous, please don’t do it. Go through the reassurance route and maybe have a little heart-to-heart talk. They may not spill everything, but you’ll always have something to work with in the end. Don’t expect too much, and at the same time, don’t expect less, and be ready for anything.

4: Be Forgiving:

Whatever that secret might be might hurt you, but then remember you wanted to hear it. It would hurt, but it would fade; all you have to do is let love lead. It might be too much to bear, but remember you are not carrying the burden alone. So please forgive your partner for both your sakes.

As mentioned above, those are the best things you can do to deal with a secretive partner. But if you are a secretive partner and are on the verge of losing your relationship, here are things you can do to get your relationship back.

1. Come out with it:

You might think, “Is this writer crazy? If I spill, I’d lose him/her,” or “it’ll be too much for her to bear.” Reading carefully, one thing about keeping secrets is that it weakens you, and you still end up spilling because if it doesn’t work in your last relationship, I’m pretty sure you’d want your next relationship to work. Otherwise, it’ll just be an endless cycle of heartbreak you caused with your hands. Coming out with it would not kill the relationship but rather save it. If your partner loves you, that person will do everything to be with you and everything to fix whatever might have gone wrong. That’s what true love does.

2. Be willing to change:

Dude, you just got out of one; don’t go into another. Don’t stir up another drama. After coming out with it, try to be more outspoken, try to be more reassuring, and try to make sure you don’t keep any more secrets. Whatever it may be, be at rest, for you’d always have your ride or die right there, beside you, and at all times.


Dealing with a secretive partner doesn’t require many things, but it does require a lot of time and patience. To make your relationship work, you must take the points listed above into high consideration. If you are the secretive one, Do yourself a favor and come out with it. Lastly, Don’t Forget To Let Love Lead.



Originally posted 2023-01-18 22:39:21.

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