16 Signs You are The Problem In Your Relationship

When the sweetness in your relationship begins to go sour it means something has gone wrong. You might want want to push the blame on your partner, but chances are you could be the problem in your relationship.

You might feel you have been doing a lot to make your relationship work but in the long run, it might turn out to be that there’s something you are missing that is not right.

In other to clear the doubts and confusion in your head, below are the signs you are the problem in your relationship.

Signs You Have Been the Problem in Your Relationship

1. You’re letting your spouse do all the work.

A relationship is like a contract two people sign up for. The parties must be involved completely. There should be an equal share of responsibility between couples. One person should not be the one to do all the work in the relationship. If you allow your significant order to do all the heavy lifting making social plans, initiating sex, and taking care of the bills, for example, resentment is bound to build up, said Megan Fleming, a New York City-based psychologist, and sex therapist.

Don’t be the type that consumes people’s investment without contributing anything. Learn to invest in your relationship. Whatever you sow in it you will reap in the end.

2. You can’t admit when you’re wrong.

We all desire a long-lasting relationship. If you want this too, you have to start admitting your errors and be accountable for your wrongs. Instead of blaming your partner for every mistake you make, admit you are wrong and make things right.

Most couples believe their partner is the initiator of their actions, so they quickly push them into misbehaving.

If something goes wrong in your relationship, instead of arguing about who caused the issue concentrate on how you can resolve the problem.

You have to stop playing the blame game when it comes to problems in your relationship. Sometimes you act like a fool and turn a blind eye to some fault. You must not pick on every error.

3. You don’t stay on a Topic When You Argue.

Another sign is when you can’t stay on topic when you guys are arguing. Both of you are having a conversation or argument on a particular topic, instead of concentrating on that topic and dealing with it properly, you jump to something else.

Instead of raising past issues, first, tackle the one on the ground before moving to the next. Your request will be attended to when it’s properly presented.

4. You’re unhappy with yourself.

Loving oneself is the first and most important thing to do before you can ever think of showing love to someone else. If you are not happy with yourself you can’t make your partner happy and it will affect your relationship. An unhappy mind conceals a lot of negative thoughts.

Depression, anger, and trauma not dealt with will affect you psychologically and in turn, sabotage your relationship. Learn to make yourself happy, and try to handle emotional issues maturely that way your problems won’t overwhelm you.

8. You Stonewall your Significant order

It’s quite frustrating to be stonewalled by your Significant other after a conversation. It is emotionally draining. When next you have a heated argument about something, pause for a while and leave. When you are calm enough to speak, come up with a solution to resolve the challenge.

Instead of being irrational in your thoughts and beefing each other, take a deep breath and reflect on what transpired between you two. That way you can figure out the exact problem.

ALSO, READ How To Get Money From a Stingy Boyfriend

9. You assume the worst about your partner.

Certainly, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Having the wrong idea of who your partner is and seeing your S.O as the worst human is so unfair. A female Psychologist says “When you and your S.O. are working through a problem, give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re probably not trying to draw the argument out and they’re not trying to hurt you. More likely than not, they too, want to move past the issue as quickly as possible”. said Laurel Steinberg, a New York-based relationship expert and an adjunct professor of psychology at Columbia University.

“Before reacting to something your partner has done or said that rubbed you the wrong way, try to first consider their intentions,” she said.  They might not really have the intention of hurting you, but in your own thoughts, you reasoned it that way without critically analyzing the reason for their actions. Try to understand your partner and consider their feelings before you act.

A sincere relationship doesn’t give room for cruelty and wickedness, except your partner doesn’t care for you genuinely.

10. You assume you’re not part of the problem.

Exempting yourself from being part of the cause of the problem in your relationship simply shows you are the problem. In one way or the other, you must have caused an issue that leads to a bigger one. It could be out of ignorance or intentionally done but you cautiously refused to accept you are also part of the problems you both are having.

When a relationship is rosy it takes two to make it work. So when there is a problem the two of you should together acknowledge it and solve it. “No issues occur in a vacuum” two must be involved.

11. You always find things to criticize your partner about

Perhaps you are beginning to imagine you are the problem in your relationship, do this to help you clear your doubts.

• Make a list of the things you said to your partner you regret
• Be sincere to yourself. Tell yourself the truth, do you feel bad about it if yes then you are the problem.

12. You always manipulate your partner

A manipulative person can never have a great relationship. A manipulative person is a mischievous human being. It is toxic to be involved with a manipulator. You can’t be using your partner selfishly to achieve your evil motives.

So if you always manipulate your partner to get what you want, it means you are the problem and you have to change.

13. You over-analyze everything

Being insensitive to issues that shouldn’t warrant such is an error. You keep analyzing things beyond the ordinary. You overstretch issues when are not called for, forgetting that it will affect your relationship

14. You don’t respect your partner’s boundaries

Everyone needs space at some point. Even in marriage, there should be boundaries and both parties should respect them. Your partner is not your property you own neither are the kids who invade their privacy. Learn to respect the boundaries, and know when to step in and when to give chance.

15. You are short-tempered glass

A temperamental person will always have issues in a relationship. If you are short tempered you are likely to be irrational when it comes to handling issues. Most times you won’t think before you act, you just react on impulse. That is a sign of a toxic attitude in a relationship.

16. You’re controlling

Perhaps you boss your partner around acting so possessive and authoritative. It’s unhealthy to be in such a relationship. Your partner won’t be comfortable around you. If you have been controlling your partner, making all the decisions without considering their opinion it means you are the toxic one.

Most people struggle to believe and accept they are the toxic person in their relationship. But the earlier you know the sooner you think of a way to make amends before you ruin your relationship.

Conclusion

If you are having issues in your relationship don’t be quick to push blame. Think critically before you accuse your partner of the problems you guys are experiencing. If you critically analyze everything you might discover it’s your fault or both of you are the problem. When you realize it’s your fault, don’t ignore it, try to effect a change and watch things turn around for good.

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Originally posted 2023-01-20 22:37:15.