From time immemorial, this has been a common practice among guys. If you give all men the opportunity, they would prefer to have babies before they get married.
The reasons for this vary from person to person and can be quite complex. However, a significant factor is the desire for a certain degree of freedom without excessive control or commitment.
This trend is becoming even more prevalent in today’s society, as many men seek to have children without getting married. A growing number of young people are choosing to have children without the formalities of marriage, and for many men, the desire for fatherhood outweighs the aspiration for traditional companionship through marriage.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve been confronted with the choice of having children before marriage or opting to have children outside of wedlock? If you’re curious about the reasons behind why some men propose such conditions, keep reading as I delve into the secret motivations.
Obvious reasons guys prefer to have children and not marriage
1. He already has kids from a previous marriage
When a man already has children from a previous marriage, he might be skeptical about the outcome of a new marriage. His children from the other marriage are still in his life, and their mother still has a major role to play. This can bring up issues in a new marriage. He might not be able to withstand the pressure coming from both women.
2. He wants to remain independent
Another reason could be his mentality. Perhaps he has friends or family members who have kids and are not married. They were meant to believe marriage was a trap; he views marriage as a trap rather than a choice made out of love. It could be that he is scared of losing his freedom to hang out with his friends because they believe marriage takes you away from them.
3. He disagrees with the conventions of marriage
Our present generation and practices are quite different from what has existed. Back in those days, people valued the union of marriage. It was a sacred union, and they understood what it was. But these days we see the opposite in marriage; the majority have coined their own definition of marriage. They disagree totally on the conventions of marriage, which were made for procreation and companionship.
A lot of men don’t see marriage that way, especially when they have been heartbroken. They are more concerned about fatherhood than the sacredness and commitment of marriage.
4. He wants to test drive before buying
Some guys are really scared of going into something they aren’t sure will be productive. So he wants to test the item before purchasing it. They are afraid of losing everything after investing so much.
5. He wants to be sure you can give birth
A compelling reason why he might want you to give birth without marriage is to ensure that you are physically capable of bearing children. It also serves as a way to gauge what cohabiting and raising a child together would be like if both of you could successfully manage such responsibilities.
6. He thinks marriage will cost him too much money.
This reason might seem invalid, but it’s true. Marriage must not be expensive, but oftentimes it is. In this case, he dreads the expenses that come with the engagement, wedding preparations, and then the honeymoon. So he is afraid of going bankrupt, even if, in reality, raising a child is more expensive.
7. He fears divorce.
Divorce is one thing people dread the most. He might fear having a divorce case, the cost and pains it comes with, and the stigma of being divorced. It’s not what anyone plans for, but sometimes life happens. This could be a reason he wants kids without tying the knot.
ALSO, READ https://lovediary.org/sign-he-pretends-to-love-you/Signs He Pretends to Love You
8. He feels the marriage will take away his freedom.
Most men think marriage takes away their freedom. They usually hear some of their married friends talk about their wives who nag. Some complain about their wife telling them what to do. This category of men believes marriage restricts them from engaging in their youthful activities.
9. There’s no social pressure for marriage anymore.
Some men lose interest in marriage because there’s no pressure from society for them to get married. They do not see the need anymore since it doesn’t stop them from getting what they want or prevent their success.
10. He’s not religious.
If a man isn’t religious enough, he will request to have kids first before marriage or without marriage because he doesn’t see it as a sin. Although some Christians also have the mentality of having kids before marriage, the reason is that marriage has lost its sacredness and value. If he isn’t a Christian, certainly he will counter the idea of marriage.
11. He doesn’t want to legally tie himself down.
Being married is both religious and legal. You have been bound to someone else. The thought of such a bond can scare a man who is afraid of a long-term commitment. He doesn’t want to be tied down by any union.
12. He’s been married before.
When a guy has been married before, he has an idea about marriage. This will affect the thought of settling down again, but his cravings for children won’t change. This usually occurs if he had bad experiences in his previous marriage.
13. He Is Not Financially Stable
Financial stability is a crucial factor for a successful marriage. While weddings can be costly, there are ways to cut down on expenses. If he is unable to cover the costs, he might be hesitant about marriage. However, in reality, raising a child can be even more expensive. Because people see it as a lifetime investment, they are more willing to bear the financial burden.
A man may be enthusiastic about marriage, but if he lacks the necessary financial resources, he may choose to delay planning a lavish wedding.
14. He’s Not Emotionally Ready for Marriage
Marriage comes with a lot of challenges and stress; no matter how blissful your union is, you must experience that stormy phase. One has to be emotionally stable first to be able to deal with the requirements of marriage.
15. He Wants to Keep You Around While Dating Other People
It might sound crazy, but some guys use this as an excuse to avoid marriage. Since being married limits one from having an affair, If they’re still interested in dating other girls, they will keep you around, making babies for them while they keep womanizing.
I would say they aren’t sure yet what to do with you, so instead of setting you free, he would keep you. In such a case, he could be saying that he is still in search of something outside, but if he can’t find it, he might just come back for you.
Sadly, as it sounds, guys who find it difficult to make a choice do this a lot. The problem is you are the victim. If it doesn’t work out for you both, you end up losing.
If you have a man who yearns to have kids more than marriage, you might be having a hard time with him. Now that you know why he prefers kids to marriage, it’s left for you to either decide to take a walk or do as he wishes if you can accept it.
ALSO, READ CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN MARRIAGE