It is really scary when the people we care about intentionally want to see us get hurt. Being fooled by someone you love is something I wouldn’t wish on my enemy.
We all wish to be with someone who would love us unconditionally and will always have our back. It is common to be fooled by friends and lovers who don’t love you but are after your money, status, and sex.
Things To Do If You Are Being Fooled By Someone You Love
1. Trust Your Gut Instincts were
Even when you meet someone for the first time, it is possible to have your instincts telling you that there is something wrong. Your instinct can tell you when someone is not telling the truth; you can watch out for their reactions while they answer your questions, and if they try to shy away from the topic – then, realize that something is wrong and try to bring yourself out of that situation.
Don’t dismiss your instincts if you think you are being fooled by who you love, find out what is going on and what they are trying to do.
2. Don’t Try To Endure The Behavior
It is common to believe that the best way to keep a relationship going, is by putting up with a partner who is always lying to you. If you are always being fooled by your partner – don’t tolerate it.
Talk to them about what you think your future is supposed to be like. If you think breaking it off would be the best decision, fine. If you also think that they can change, it’s your call. Just learn to know when to end things to avoid emotional abuse.
3. Have a Confrontation With Then
Don’t let the good times you have had or how long you have stayed together stop you from seeing the truth. Immediately you are sure that your partner is fooling you, confront them.
Everyone has a reason for lying. It could be out of stress, fear or pain. Even if the truth is going to sting, honesty is always the best policy. It is time to let them know that you are aware of all that is going on; talk about it and see if it is something you can resolve or if it is time for the relationship to end.
4. Tell Yourself The Truth
If you notice that you are being fooled by someone you love, you need to be honest with yourself. It is possible to be overwhelmed with the idea that our partner is in love with us. We start to turn a blind eye to their deceit and believe their words hook line and sinker.
It is time to face the truth and be honest with your partner and yourself. Let them know that you are aware of what is going on; there is a likelihood that they will change their behavior, once they know that lying will no more be tolerated.
5. Leave Them To Deal With The Consequences
Don’t be manipulated into staying. People don’t just stop lying, especially if it is already a lifestyle for them. Tell them you are done and don’t want anything to do with them.
Even if you have had plans or made some payments together, ignore everything – it is no more your business. You deserve much better, someone who will treat you with respect. It is good to forgive; do it if you can but never stay in an unhealthy relationship for your mental health sake.
6. Try Talking To a Friend Or Family
If you are being fooled by someone you love and you don’t know what to do; discuss the issue with a trusted friend or family member.
It is necessary for one to have someone you can always run to for advice – someone who can understand the situation and tell you what you can do at the moment. Be careful though, the person should be who you can trust not to spread rumors about you.
7. Leave The Relationship
When everything is said and done; and you have confronted your partner about their lies but with no significant changes – leave them.
Block them from social media, and forget everything that will remind you of them. With time, you will get over them and realize that he/she was not worth it.
8. Be Confident When Addressing The Issue
You can try rehearsing first, in front of the mirror, before talking to your partner.
Try to be convincing, straightforward, and brief. Don’t be scared or start stammering – you don’t want to be seen as unserious. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled again – stand up for yourself now.
9. Get Enough Evidence
Before you take a drastic decision, it would be wise to get the proof that will make you have a better stand. You don’t want to be seen as crazy or be gaslighted.
Have an evidence that is very solid. Best options would be photos and texts. You don’t know what you might find; he/she might be cheating, hiding information from you or lying. This will also avoid manipulation from their side and it’s a way of proving to yourself that you were right.
10.Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
It is normal to feel betrayed and devastated, especially if you love them deeply. However, you don’t have to blame yourself for not seeing the clear signs or go on thinking you could have done better.
Some people are born liars who are incorrigible. Forgive yourself and move on, your world does not revolve around them.
Allow yourself to heal from the pains, go out and create reasonable friendships again. Your situation could have happened to anyone, you will be better off without them.
When you are being fooled by someone you love; it is better you leave the unhealthy relationship, which will likely make you doubt your sanity. Learn from this experience and move on. Never allow it to interfere in your future relationships.
It is better you start believing that the person you love might not always tell you the real truth. Never lose your self-worth and self-esteem!
ALSO, READ 10 Signs He Will Never Forget You