Love & Dating
What is a Soul Tie and How to Break Them
A soul tie is a deep soul connection shared with somebody very close to you. A certified sex therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson, LCSW, CST, tells mbg. According to her “Often it’s thought to happen after you have intercourse with someone,” she notes, adding it’s often presented from a very cisgender, heteronormative perspective.
Soul tie relationship can result from having sexual intercourse with someone and the scripture support this fact. If you engage in premarital sex you are bound to that person, that’s why the bible only encourages sex for married couples. But she goes on to say that “soul ties,” at least regarding sex, are really attachments in disguise and “an over-spiritualization of normal feelings.” Though oxytocin which is a bonding hormone is released during orgasm. However, not all partners who engage in sex are emotionally bonded. This bond can be broken if it becomes toxic.
Based on this, Tanya Carroll Richardson a professional intuitive and author of Self-Care for Empaths says “soul ties can also refer to the broad term describing any kind of soul connection between two people”. “You could have known each other in a past life, maybe from the same soul family, or simply have a soul contract to meet up in this lifetime and have some type of relationship or experience together.”
This soul connection with this person mustn’t lead to a romantic relationship. “You might have strong feelings or be drawn to someone initially,” she explains, “but as soon as you get to know them, you quickly realize you don’t want to be around them. Honor that feeling and intuitive hit.” If you feel weird about the soul tie you share with someone then break it.
Signs you have a soul tie connection with someone
1. They feel familiar
One of the strong signs you share a soul tie with someone is that they appear familiar as if you have met before. There is this feeling that you have known each other for a long time. Even if you just met it’s as if you have been with them for a long.
2. You may feel like they “complete” you
You might have this feeling they complete you especially when it’s a romantic relationship.
With this person you feel complete, there is this feeling of internal peace and security you have. You don’t need anything else as long as they are around. More like you have your significant order around.
3. Your relationship feels unique or one-of-a-kind
A soul-tie relationship is always unique and one of a kind. They have lots of things in common. They understand each other at a very good level. Nothing breaks their bond, even if they disagree it doesn’t take long before they reconcile. There is this special bond that exists between them.
4. You feel connected on a deeper level
If you have a soul-tie relationship, you will be deeply connected with that person on a spiritual level. When you have this deep connection with someone beyond that of normal friendship then it’s a sign you have a soul tie with this person.
5. They elicit strong reactions from you.
A soul tie connection exhibits an intense form of bond which releases a certain level of reaction from you. There is a sense of belonging when you are around them. You suddenly fell comfortable and open with this person. Sometimes they show up at the time you need help and they render whatever they can to salvage the situation. You are more excited about this person than when you are with your friends.
6. A part of you feels like it’s missing if they’re not in your life.
In some cases, a soul tie connection can make you feel so attached to this person that you feel empty without them. You feel like there’s a missing part in your life when he/she is not around. Some people attach themselves so much to a point they feel broken if this person is no more in their lives. They can’t feel complete without them.
Can soul ties be one-sided?
Just like a toxic twin flame case, soul ties also can be toxic and one-sided. But it doesn’t mean it is in all cases. Note that when you feel a person completes you and you feel broken without that person it’s a sign of attachment, not necessarily a soul-tie bond. This is a negative attachment, you can’t possibly be waiting for your partner to complete you and get lost when your expectation is cut off.
You might even feel you are more connected than the other person. So you must understand your level of attachment and know exactly what you want from your partner.
It’s outrageous to be in a toxic relationship simply because you have a soul tie with someone. If you feel you are not wanted then back off. Don’t force yourself into a relationship with someone because you are connected with them spiritually. Not all relationships are meant to last for a lifetime, some are meant to end someday. Don’t be worked up if you are rejected, respect their opinions and let them be. That you have a soul tie connection with someone doesn’t mean you will marry that person.
What are soul tie symptoms?
The signs of a soul tie connection are the feelings, thoughts emotions, etc., a person has when there is a meeting with that special one.
Soul tie relationship has some level of influence on someone’s thoughts, emotions, and actions Depending on the duration of the relationship.
Visible signs and feelings of a soul tie
1. Visualizing, having imagination, or hearing the person’s voice in your head and seeing the face which can trigger a particular action, memory, mood swings, or physical manifestation.
2. Stalking, overly referring to the person in conversation, obsessing about the individual(s) in your thoughts—particularly at certain times during the day or night.
3. Regularly pondering, thinking, fantasizing, or dreaming about this person while single (unmarried) or married.
Some other symptoms are secrets, lusts, or desires from how the soul tie was mutually created.
You can be emotionally, mentally, and financially traumatized by the negative results or outcomes of what this person did that hindered, controlled, or manipulated you.
Breaking soul ties.
So, if you have come this far and you’re fairly certain this is a soul tie you need to break, what do you do? Firstly, Blaylock-Johnson emphasizes the importance of knowing you are whole and complete on your own. “Specifically within the Christian tradition, there’s the idea that when people are married, they become one. Even if you do ascribe to that belief,” she says, “think of it like 1 + 1 = 1, not ½ + ½ = 1.”
It is worthy to note that it’s not very easy to break up a soul-tie relationship. You need a professional counselor to help you with the process. You must get an experienced person to get through with it.
Note that breaking up a Soul tie relationship is not the end of your life. Your life doesn’t revolve around that person. Do not think you won’t find another unique friendship. There are lots of people in the world and you can find someone special to build that unique friendship again. The earlier you realize that the faster your recovery process.
How to break a soul tie
1. Acknowledge it is there
This is the very first thing to do acknowledging you have such a problem and seeking a solution. It is only when you acknowledge your problem you ask for help.
2. Make up your mind you will deal with it.
This could come in any way. Some people like to share their problems with someone just to know their opinion. In this case, you might want to speak with a therapist or psychologist. Whichever one you choose note that it isn’t the best solution for you.
To err is human to forgive is divine. When you forgive you free yourself of every hurt and pain this person must have cost you. You don’t have to wait for this person to ask for your forgiveness.
Whatever leads to the soul tie shouldn’t bother you now. Forgive yourself and this person for any wrong decision you took. Forgiveness means you are releasing yourself and that person from any bond you guys had.
4. Breach the Contract or Agreement
A past relationship usually hurts especially toxic ones. It affects you mentally, physically, and emotionally. You might even become broken to a point where you can’t be open to
any relationship. Some even miss their soulmate whom God has ordained for them. A soul tie relationship is a connection with someone with the same mind and heart. The two souls are bonded.
Some people take their broken hearts and missed feelings into their new relationship. In other to free yourself from this traumatic experience you have to breach whatever contract or agreement you have with this person. That way you set the person free and also yourself free from whatever binds you guys together.
The bottom line.
The soul tie connection is one special bond you can share with someone and it’s not rare. It is not wrong to have a soul tie connection but it might be overstretched and attributed to the toxic attachment. Irrespective of some negative influences of soul-tie relationships, one can still build a healthy strong soul-tie relationship. However, if you observe the relationship is becoming toxic and you need to take work, don’t hesitate to do that. Your happiness should be your priory, prove to the world there is room for new opportunities for you to explore. “Your experience will help you grow better not tear you apart”.