Love and marriage is a very complicated things to deal with. At some point, everything seems fine and perfect. Your love twinge trigger is still shooting. Obviously, your love for each other is at a very high pitch. You are enjoying every bit of your relationship and then boom you start thinking of how to end the once blissful union.
What exactly went wrong? You were both doing great but gradually your marriage began to sink. In some cases you can save your marriage and things will fall back to normal, while in some instances you can’t fix the broken pieces in your marriage. At this point, you should let the sinking ship go and move on with what you have left, than trying to rescue what can’t be saved.
If you are still wondering what is left in your marriage and your marriage is on the verge of collapsing or if you can save your marriage. Below are some red flags which clearly indicate your marriage can’t be saved.
15 Obvious Red Flags Your Marriage Can’t be Saved (Divorce signs)
1. You start doubting yourself
When you are no more valued or prioritize in your marriage, chances are you will begin to doubt yourself and the existence of your marriage. The worst feeling is when your partner pushes the blame on you. When your partner doesn’t see the need to compromise and sort things out then it’s a sign they are tired of the marriage already.
2. You aren’t moved to make an effort anymore
Marriage is a hard job and couples need to make efforts toward building a strong relationship. If you are no longer interested to make efforts in your marriage to reignite the spark that once existed obviously the marriage isn’t working. Perhaps you refused to seek help from a counselor, it’s a clear indication you can’t continue.
3. You don’t spend time with each other
When marriage becomes a torque of war, nothing interest you anymore. Spending time with your partner will be very boring. Most times you do this intentionally. You now spend more time on your phone, work and look for other things that will distract you. It’s okay to be occupied with work a times, but when it’s regular and intentional, it spells out the fact that your marriage is tearing apart.
Couples whose marriages are nearly over often uncouple, or disconnect from each other, before it legally ends, says Elayne Savage, Ph.D., author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. When you both spend more time at work, with friends, social media etc. and you are more comfortable and peaceful doing this. It’s an indication the marriage has lost its flavor.
4.You neither support nor listen to each other
If none of you show concern or care to listen to each other’s thoughts, you’re directly displaying the signs they mean nothing to you. You clearly do not care of their feelings or emotions. Both couples are supposed to work as a team, both in the domestic affairs, paying the bills and taking care of kids.
The lack of support in marriage is a serious red flag your marriage is in jeopardy. If you are already working in different directions, no effective communication, intimacy and you make decisions individually, it is a tell tale sign of a failing marriage.
5. There’s no more intimacy
According to Rozin-Golinder, a lack of intimacy is one of the most obvious signs that a divorce is imminent.
Apparently, all couples experience a huddle in their marriage, but times it exceeds that boundary. An authentic indication your marriage is jeopardized is when you are both not interested in sex. You both don’t discuss anything about it, and nd nor do you do something to get your sex life on track. The point is you both have not been sexually active for a while and you’re probably not working sexually.
6. You don’t have the same life goals and mindset nor do you agree.
Marriage agreement is imperative. Your values, ideas and goals must align for compatibility reasons. If you can’t agree on one thing together how then can you make decisions as a couple. When you gradually begin to disagree constantly, and reason differently then your marriage is gradually sabotaging.
7.You don’t compromise on wants and needs
One very important thing in marriage is ensuring you meet the need of your partner and yours as well. Marriage is a life time commitment, you give to receive. But if your partner denies you your basic marriage needs such as affection, time, sex, attention, assisting with domestic chores, and also sharing their needs with you obviously you are not on the right path.
8.You have unrealistic expectations
You might feel disappointed if your expectations in marriage are not met. Some might even feel it’s the reason they are having issues in the marriage. It is very bad to have unrealistic expectations, knowing it is quite impossible for your partner to meet up.
Disillusionment and foreconceived expectations not met can lead to disappointment. It is outrageous for one person to have an unrealistic expectations.
9.You constantly feel unfulfilled.
Feeling Fulfilled is needed for a healthy marriage. If you start feeling dissatisfied in your marriage, nothing pleases you anymore, even things you guys did together previously exasperates you. Feeling unfulfilled is normal but when it is constant it’s a red flag of a failing marriage. You aren’t fulfilled with your children, your kind of partner, commitment, care, love etc.
10.You have done everything possible to salvage your marriage problems
Sometimes you must have tried everything humanly possible to save your marriage but all to no avail. You have gone through all the counseling sessions, you have seen a psychologist, yet it’s not working. This is clearly indicating the marriage is over and cannot be fixed.
11.You feel like a slave to making things work and you’re fed up.
Apparently, marriage requires a lot of work and effort to make it successful. It takes two to stay happily married. Both couples must be involved in making sure their marriage is a success. You need care, attention, love, commitment, honesty, etc. to ensure you have a blissful and healthy union.
12.You Feel Unsafe
One of the bad signs you shouldn’t joke with is when you are no longer safe. You are supposed to feel safe with your partner but if your life is on the line, you have to take a walk to save yourself. “A broken marriage is better than a rotten corpse”.
13.You’re Not Attracted to Your Partner Anymore
Attraction is usually the first thing that brings us close to our partners. Attraction brings about the spark that triggers the love you both have for each other. If you start loosing this attraction, you don’t feel attracted to your significant other anymore, your days together as a couple is numbered. Attraction keeps the love twinges going, when it is lost the marriage suffers.
14.You Don’t Agree on Anything
Constant disagreement births a toxic relationship. Disagreement is likely to occur once in awhile but if it’s more than usual it becomes a big problem. You are meant to disagree and agree in marriage not having constant disagreement on everything concerning your marriage and life generally. “Two must agree to make it work”.
15.Progress Is One-Sided
A marriage that isn’t worth saving can be seen when only one party takes responsibility of what happens. Marriage can only work when a couple are willing to cooperate. When you decide to do things on your own or you are probably thinking of a new person to plan with, you are tending to the part of divorce.
Marriage can be burdensome and also sweet. There are many hurdles in marriage, it only takes a prudent and willing couple to rebuild their collapsing marriage. Nevertheless if you have done your part and yet nothing seems to be working, don’t be worked up Let go and be happy. Your happiness should count more than any other thing. Being divorce doesn’t make you a stigmatized person. Forgive yourself and your partner, set them free and move on.