Being cheated on by your partner can be very painful – with feelings like sadness, anger, betrayal, resentment, embarrassment, and self-doubt. You can heal from this because this isn’t where your story ends, it is supposed to make you stronger and become a better version of yourself.
Even if it is not immediately, everything will be okay. All you need to do is to take some time processing the situation and your feelings – then you can decide to give the relationship another trial or end things for good. Nevertheless, here are some tips to help you get over being cheated on by your partner:
How To Get Over Cheated On
1. Give Your Partner Some Space
Seeing your cheating partner face to face every day is going to be difficult work to do. What with pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t – to allow yourself to cope, you will need to take a step back. Request for some space to process all that has been happening and know the next decision to take. One of you can decide to leave the house for a while/days or give them the option of sleeping on the couch or spare bedroom if any. The best idea would be to wait a few days after you find them cheating to talk about what happened because by then you would be calmer and would have sorted your thoughts and feelings out.
2. Don’t Bottle Up Emotions
Keeping things on your mind is not healthy, you need to find a way to express your feelings. You can try talking to a close friend, a therapist, or whichever way you are most comfortable with – we deal with pains differently as humans.
If you can’t talk to anyone about your cheating partner, writing it down would really help in processing your thoughts. You could also try; poetry, writing songs, drawing/painting, or even talking to your partner about how their actions affect you.
3. Don’t Put The Blame On Yourself
Never think it’s your fault that your partner cheated. You are not responsible for their actions and decisions, because people do things that are hurtful for different reasons.
They could have handled things differently even if they were unhappy about something. Be mindful of them telling you that it was your fault – it might be true, just try to work on addressing those issues brought up by your partner. However, that does not justify cheating, you are not to blame.
4. Don’t Let Your Anger Get The Best Of You
I know it will be so tempting to want to take revenge or lash out, but take some time to calm down before you act out. Don’t go looking for someone to hook up with or send angry texts and other displays of rage. Instead, go do some of your favorite things like jogging, dancing, e. t. c to let off some steam. Doing all those inappropriate things won’t make you feel better but make things worse, if you decide to get back together – eventually.
5. Don’t Be Quick To Make a Decision
All you have to do is follow your heart. There is no right choice when it boils down to leaving or staying with a partner who has cheated. Don’t let anyone push you into taking a drastic decision, or even taking one out of fear. While deciding, think about your partner’s reason for cheating, what led to it and if you can trust them again.
The answers you seek will become clear to you after some time, take as much time as you need to make the right choice.
6. Reach Out To Loved Ones
It is important that you talk to someone or a squad that cares about you. Let your focus be on those people who have always had your back and will always be there for you no matter what.
Let it be people who will support you in whatever decision you later decide to take. Remember, you only have to share as much as you know you will be comfortable with. If you, however, decide to still be in the relationship, you both can try couple’s counseling.
7. Consider Yourself First
You! Yes, you are the most important person in this situation. It is normal to skip meals, crawl into bed, and binge eats or watch movies – but get up after a day or so and get back to your normal routine. Don’t let yourself get more hurt than you already are.
Make time for some things that make you feel good, and avoid drinks or drugs- even if they make you feel good at the moment, it will make everything worse and probably turn you into an addict. Take care not to put too much pressure on yourself, with time you will start to feel like yourself again.
8. If You Stay Together, Rebuild Trust Slowly
According to experts, it usually takes between 18-24 months for couples to make a recovery after an affair. Bringing back the trust can take a lot of time and patience. Cheating doesn’t have to mark the end of a relationship, even though it is really painful.
Ask the partner questions that you feel are necessary or you can even request their email passwords, phone, and others; if you want a confirmation that they are not hiding anything from you again. It won’t be easy – it will just take lots of open, honest communication.
9.Take Notice Of How The y Act Once You Find Out
Pay attention to your partner and watch their reaction to see how they react after being caught cheating. If they have a habit of cheating or not accepting blame or being remorseful for their actions – it will be better if you end things with them, for it is going to be hard to move forward together. Try to make a clean break too if you don’t have the zeal to make it work.
10. Try To Forgive
At first, it will be impossible due to the anger and feeling of betrayal; try to see them not as a monster who was out to hurt you but as a human who made a mistake, and doesn’t deserve you.
Do this whether you leave or stay after being cheated on, it will make it a lot easier for you to move on.
Take all the time you need, this is because it can be hard to just forgive someone who has wronged you badly.
It is not going to be easy. This is a situation you can work through – whatever emotions you feel is a natural response to being cheated on. You can cope through this phase in your relationship if you practice some of the things that have been listed out.
You can get over being cheated on – at the moment it will feel impossible, but with the help of friends and family you will come out stronger – you can also work through it alone, but seeking professional help will make it less challenging.