Signs You are Not Intellectually Compactible with your Partner

Before you can determine whether you are intellectually compatible with your partner, you must first understand what intellectual compatibility is.

What is Intellectual compatibility?

Intellectual Compatibility is the attraction between two people whose brains are on the same level. People who are intellectually compatible often have similar upbringings, values, interests, philosophies, and pursuits.

Simply put, they like to watch the same TV channels, read the same books, read the same magazines, talk about the same topics, etc.

Also called intellectual chemistry, intellectual compatibility doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual. It can exist between friends, colleagues, etc. This means having conversations that are intellectually stimulating and satisfying.

Just like sexual chemistry, intellectual chemistry can make or break a relationship. Nobody wants a partner with whom they can’t have intelligent conversations or seek their input on any issues that interest them. Here are some signs that will help you know that you are not intellectually compatible with your partner:

Signs You Are Not Intellectually Compatible with Your Partner

1. There is a feeling of superiority and inferiority (Teacher-student feeling):

If one partner feels superior intellectually, this could be an issue. The partner who feels intellectually superior will always feel the need to teach the partner they see as inferior. If you feel like your partner always uses your mistake as an opportunity to tutor you, correct you, or interrupt your speech just to tell you that you are wrong, it’s time to get your bearings and reflect on the dynamics of your relationship.

If you are always made to feel inferior in your relationship, you need to talk to your partner. This could breed hatred for your partner, as nobody likes to be made to feel unimportant or less, especially in a relationship.

2. You are Constantly bored:

Boredom is a significant sign that you are not intellectually compatible with your partner. Whatever your partner says or any conversational topic they bring up bores you. It’s a sign that you are not intellectually compatible. When you are bored with your partner, you tend to reach out to other people who can connect with you intellectually, and this doesn’t bode well for your relationship.

3. You feel like you are in a Competition:

Usually, in a relationship, your partner is supposed to be your partner, not your opponent. If you constantly feel like competing with your partner, then it’s a sign that you are not Intellectually compatible. You can not grow in a relationship where you feel like you are on opposing sides instead of the same side.

4. You can’t have a meaningful conversation:

When your conversation with your partner cannot go beyond small talk, you are not intellectually compatible. Raising sensitive topics at the beginning of a relationship is expected to be a bit uncomfortable. Going forward, you are supposed to be able to have deep conversations that will help you both grow, but if you feel like you can’t talk to your partner about stimulating and more meaningful things, you have a problem. You should address this quickly with your partner before it goes out of hand.

5. They make the conversation all about themselves:

This usually happens when people who are not intellectually compatible try to make their relationship work. When you bring up a topic they can’t relate to or contribute meaningfully, they switch the topic and begin talking about themselves.

An example of this kind of situation is when you raise a work-related issue, and they can relate to it, they switch the topic and instead talk about their selves or issues concerning them that don’t relate to what you were saying, which can be frustrating.

6. You lose your confidence around them:

If you begin to feel inferior, jealous, nervous, unlike yourself, or lacking confidence when your partner is around, then you are not intellectually compatible. This feeling arises because they can’t relate to what you have to say, so you don’t feel the need to say anything, or you force yourself to be into or agree with what they are saying when it really doesn’t interest you.

It could also be because you don’t have the mental energy for their lecturers even when you are better. It would be best if you spoke up before you lost yourself completely.

7. Your relationship is more sexual:

Although it’s normal for a relationship to be purely based on the sexual aspect, it’s a major red flag when your partner uses sexual activities to divert your attention whenever you want to hold a meaningful conversation with them. You are not intellectually compatible with your partner if they always want sex instead of having a conversation. Come up front and ask them to define the relationship so you don’t be delusional.

8. Different taste in Music:

Although some couples can work if they have different music tastes, they can connect intellectually on other stuff. Music can create an emotional bond between couples, and most intellectually compatible couples have similar tastes in music. So, if you like RnB, while your partner likes Rap or POP, it might be a sign that you are not intellectually compatible.

9. You have different future goals:

When you and your partner don’t share similar visions for the future, especially on core family values like marriage, kids, and other long-term goals, this indicates that both of you are not intellectually compatible. A typical example is when you envision your relationship leading to marriage and kids soon, while they don’t view it in that light. Most people don’t compromise on these goals, which could create significant problems in your relationship.

10. You don’t resolve issues:

It’s normal for couples to argue or have issues, but their ability to resolve them amicably makes them healthy, clearing the air between them. However, suppose you are not intellectually compatible with your partner. In that case, you both tend to leave issues unresolved because you don’t see the problem the same way, or your partner might think they are too superior to reason at your level.

11. You feel unloved:

When you can’t connect intellectually with your partner, your relationship will lose its spark. No matter how good the sex is, you need to connect emotionally with your partner, and this emotional connection can only form when you both are intellectually compatible. You will begin to feel unloved, as it will seem as though your partner is only physically attracted to you.

12. You feel Undervalued:

When you are not intellectually compatible with your partner, you feel they don’t value you. This feeling is because they can’t relate to anything you are talking about. They don’t appreciate the efforts you put into the relationship, the are unapologetic when they offend you, with their lack of interest in your affairs. They don’t see you as important.

13.You both have different interest:

This is a very sure sign that you are not intellectually compatible with your partner. People who are intellectually compatible usually have similar interests, so having different interests with your partner is a sign that you are not intellectually compatible.

FAQ

1. How do you know if you are not intellectually compatible with your partner?

The major red flag that you are not intellectually compatible with your partner is that you both have nothing in common—no similar interests, no similar values, nothing at all.

2. What is Intellectual compatibility in a relationship?

Intellectual Compatibility is the bond between two people based on their shared goals, interests, values, thoughts, and visions.

3. How do you know if someone is intellectually compatible with you?

When you find yourself eager to have a conversation with them, you can’t wait to hear their point of view on a particular issue, it shows that your conversations are deep and satisfying. This shows you both are intellectually compatible.

4.How can I increase my Intellectual compatibility with my partner?

You can increase your Intellectual compatibility in the following ways:

Pick a story for discussion

Develop interest and try out each other’s hobbies

Do new things together

Create a list of topics that interest the both of you to discuss

Play games with your partner that stimulate you mentally

5. How can I be more intellectual with my partner?

You can be more intellectual about your relationship by doing the following:

Encourage and support each other

Do something fun regularly together

Make each other the priority in your lives

Talk to each other daily e.t.c

Conclusion:

Wrapping up, although people who are intellectually compatible easily connect and make their relationships work effortlessly, if you really want your relationship to work, you can foster intellectual compatibility by becoming interested in the same things and consciously making an effort to consume similar materials with your partner.

That said, not being intellectually compatible with your partner can stifle and instantly kill a relationship, so don’t only check for physical chemistry but also make sure that you are intellectually compatible with your partner to connect on a deeper level.

ALSO, READ 10 Ways To Change a Person From Bad To Good

Originally posted 2022-12-29 00:48:02.